SPORTS, THE OTHER WOMAN
Have sports ever caused an issue in your relationship? Have you felt jealous of your man’s love and commitment to the games? I have. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I was intimidated by his mysterious connection to sports and my lack of understanding led to arguments and mistrust. Let me share with you an example from relationship past:
It’s 7pm on Friday evening, which means… yippee, it’s date night! I can’t wait! It’s been the longest week and I’m so ready to blow off steam and hit the town. Hair’s done, makeup’s on… it’s go time! Only twenty minutes until we kick off the weekend! Woot woot!
Then, I get a text that says, “Babe, I had such an exhausting day. Can we just hang at home tonight and watch TV?” Really? Are you freaking kidding me?! Remembering that we cope with stress in different ways, I decide to take one for the team and respond, “Sure, honey. I’ll order a pizza. See you soon.”
Five minutes later, the phone rings. It’s him. He must have gotten a second wind because he sure as heck doesn’t sound exhausted now… “Hey babe! John has an extra ticket to the game tonight! Do you mind if I go? I haven’t seen the guys in forever!” Uh huh… we all know what happens next.
Being a bit insecure and passive aggressive, I quickly say, “That’s fine. Have fun.” Then I hang up and text as many girlfriends as possible to see who is available for a last minute girls’ night – no way am I going to sit at home while he’s out with the boys!
I meet the girls at a local wine bar because you know, wine always makes these situations better. We spend a solid four hours dissecting my man’s behavior and how his decision must mean that he doesn’t really respect me. Clearly, I’m not a priority. Does he even care at all? Worse yet, is there someone else? Are sporting events just an excuse for guys to get drunk and meet other women?
As we continue to overthink and analyze, one of the girls says, “Do you think maybe they really are just watching a game? I mean, we’re with these guys, right? Shouldn’t we trust them… and if we don’t, what are we doing with them in the first place?” Crickets. That shut us up real quick!
"We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we think we know about the unknown."
Being unfamiliar with sports, I realized that the fear of the unknown was causing us to assume the worst. Actually, it was the fear of what we assumed and what we thought we knew about the unknown.
Sports became the mysterious other woman and instead of introducing myself to her, I chose to allow my fears and doubts to get the best of me. In reality, my friend was right – sure, some guys go to games to meet girls but if he’s cheating or intent on cheating, he will find a way regardless of the wheres, whens, and hows. The issue lies in the relationship and blaming sports, guys’ trips, and boys’ night out will only make the situation worse. My two cents? Find your own passions, spend more time with your girlfriends, and if you have an issue like the one I did, speak up!